Friday, July 30, 2010

The beginning of the end?

I am moving to Chicago in 3 weeks.

Everyone has expressed their excitement in my move. I've heard lots of congratulations and words of encouragement. Certainly some people are sad (or glad?) to see me go, but overall everyone is happy for my new adventure.

Then tonight at dinner, my mother started crying for a second, because she realized today that I wasn't going to be here anymore when she visited. And she brought up that I had already moved away when I was 16 (for boarding school) but she usually still saw me every month. Then I was in Baton Rouge again for LSU. Even when I was in New Orleans I still made it back to Baton Rouge fairly regularly. And in recent years she's been coming to Baton Rouge more frequently anyway since she's retired, and she always stays at my place. So now it's going to be months between our visits instead of weeks. She said she would just start emailing me more often, which I said was totally fine.

But it did make me realize: I am not going to be in Louisiana, for the first time in 29 years (I'm choosing to ignore the 9 months in Texas after Katrina). I am not going to be minutes away from the family and friends I have known my whole life. I am not going to be an hour away from my friends in New Orleans. I am not going to be 4 hours away from my parents in Texas. I am going to be a plane ride away from pretty much everyone I know.

I'm not scared about this. I know I will function just fine without them immediately present, I have done so before many times. But I suppose it is the one element that is bittersweet. My family and friends group are amazing. I will miss these people so much.

But I want everyone to visit. It's probably not feasible, but I do. I will probably stop buying gifts for people, and instead buy them plane tickets.