2005-2012

7 years. What am I supposed to say? I can't say the same thing every year. Probably not necessary to say something every year. Shit happens? Shit happened. It was life altering and what not. I don't like re-living it. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but I can't deny that it's somewhat responsible for some positive changes in my life. Opportunity out of tragedy, I think I've said that before. But I still curse her...Katrina, that bitch. 

Fire Fire

About a week ago I went to this pretty cool thing called the Full Moon Fire Jam. It apparently started out as a small celebration of someone's birthday, but then turned into a regularly scheduled family event in a park. Basically a bunch of hippie flame performers show up, do a quick safety course, and then entertain everybody for a few hours.










For the full set of photos, click here.

French Canadian Acrobats

I saw the Cirque du Soleil show Dralion last night. I actually saw it once before, 10 years ago, when it was performed under the Grand Chapiteau (big ass tent) in Houston. Now the show is performed in an arena. While I guess it's good that I grew up to be slightly more successful than a circus performer, I still think it would have been pretty rad. I seriously want to get a cyr wheel. Maybe for Christmas.

As per usual, you're not allowed to take pictures at the show. But I got some shwag, so here's a Cirque mug shot!

Epiphany? Hardly.

So. I've decided I want to be a person that people want to be friends with. I've realized (i.e. it's blatantly obvious) that I am not that person right now. I'm definitely not that person to the one person I most want to be friends with. And it's my fault. I'm the only one who can change it, so that's what I have to do. Reversal of rock bottom.

Also a milestone, I don't think I cried yesterday. Just shy of two months. I won't give up the waterproof mascara just yet (we'll see how consistent I am with this first). But that's progress I think. "There is only one direction to go in life..."

Flotation devices

One item is off the bucket list! Got a late night text on Saturday that someone's friends had bailed on a boat ride (who does that?!) and did I want to participate in Sunday Funday out on the lake? Hell yes. 

I woke up and made a quick grocery run for snacks, then packed up food, drinks, sunscreen, and a towel. Time to head to harbor!

Hot day, cold water


It wasn't too bad that the water was a little cold, because we had an island to float on.


What a pretty city, from all angles!


My grandfather had a boat, and despite him dying when I was only 7, I have many fond memories from those early years, being out on the Gulf of Mexico in the Ruby Lynn. That's probably where I got my love of free fall, jumping off the roof of that boat. I doubt it was even a 10 foot drop but to me it was exhilarating. We'd ride out to Ship Island from the marina in Biloxi, the grandchildren sitting across the front bow, each straddling a bar of the boat rail. The salt water would splash our feet and we'd point at the porpoises jumping alongside us.

I'm 31 now, and Lake Michigan is nothing like the Gulf of Mexico, but riding out on the open water on the front of a boat was still as fun as I remembered. It was a great day up until the point I drank too much and made a fool of myself. As is tradition these days.

Staged

While I'm way too shy to have ever been involved with it, I absolutely love theater. Performance in general really, dance, live music, whatever. When they're all together, and done well, it thrills me to no end. I'll fidget in my seat, almost ready to burst, because I'm just so excited to have all my senses engaged like that. I can ride the high of a good show for awhile. For example, I went to a concert back in 2003 that put me in such a good mood that the next morning my spirits couldn't be dampened--even when I got to work and a guy immediately backed into my car in the parking garage. He kept apologizing, and then thanking me for being so easygoing (and obviously I got his information and his insurance company replaced my bumper). But seriously, nothing can ruin that mood sometimes.

Last night I saw a pretty fantastic performance of Rent. And while it really doesn't include the dance element, the staging of this particular performance was a dance in itself, and I've always been a fan of the music. I feel like Rent is the cliche "favorite" musical theater production of my generation, having debuted in 1996, I first saw it on tour in 1998, and it was even made into a movie in 2005 (with most of the original cast). But oh well, I can't help but love it. I had the soundtrack in high school and have seen the stage production probably 5 times now, several times from the orchestra pit. I spent most of last night's performance mouthing all the words, but I'm convinced most people in the theater hadn't seen it before, and I think a couple people even left at intermission (that always seems to happen, somebody doesn't like the subject matter and peaces out).

So one of the things I was excited about in moving to Chicago was getting access to a bustling theater district. Certainly more opportunities to see great stage productions here than I had back in Louisiana. I've seen a number of performances since I moved, both dance and theater, and I told myself back when I was unemployed that as soon as I could afford it I would get season tickets somewhere. But now I'm not sure I want to get season tickets to one theater, because I sorta prefer being able to pick and choose what I'm going to see, since there are so many options. (Although the performances I've seen that I didn't have a choice in I still ended up enjoying). Also in this trend of last minute coupon deals with half price options (how I saw Rent last night) sometimes it's best to wait til opportunity comes knocking. Then I can afford more opportunities!

I'm not sure there was really a point to this post. Oh well. 

Kick it

So people here (I'm generalizing) make bucket lists. Not necessarily of things to do before they die, more short term, like things to do while they live in Chicago, or just things to do during the summer. I do have a list of restaurants I want to eat at that gets longer at a much faster rate than it ever gets shorter (because it really never gets shorter). I now lack the companionship, decisiveness, and sometimes budget to get through the list with any kind of efficiency.

My summer bucket list would be short, mainly because I have no idea what to do here. A year and a half and I'm still practically a tourist, with the majority of my memories plagued by circumstances I'm now forced to forget. I would honestly love to rewind back to 2010 and do it all differently. Maybe not even move here. But no point in pondering the impossible, right? Time moves forward. Only our shortcomings hold us back.

A few ideas...

BOAT RIDE: I've been on a boat millions of times, but never out on Lake Michigan.

STREET FESTIVALS: Chicago has a ton of them. I've been to very, very few.

FARMERS MARKETS: Everyone here is obsessed. I've been maybe twice.

ROAD TRIP: Nothing too fancy, something within a few hours. Just the opportunity to leave the city. I like going places, near or far. Too much of the world is worth seeing to just stay in one place. And while I never would have said I had any kind of affinity for driving, now that I don't get the opportunity to drive very often, I sincerely miss just getting in a car and going somewhere.

SIX FLAGS: I suppose this falls under road trips. Also: I love roller coasters.

OUTSIDE/ROOFTOP BBQ/PARTY: I've already done this, and I will continue to do this. I want to cook ALL THE MEAT. Having never looked forward to being outdoors during the summer (due to its unbearable heat and misery in the south) I now want to explore what summer outside is all about.

I think I also want to go swimming.

Oh, and visit some outlet malls. We can't forget retail therapy. 

OH CANADIA

So despite my job not rewarding me for any of my productive contributions, I have managed to win a few plane vouchers based on...well, who knows really, but not merit. The first (of four) I used to secure a plane ticket to Toronto. My lovely cousin Elise lives there, with her husband and two children, and she was throwing a party. And I do love a good party. I also love traveling, and I'd never been to Canada. And let's be honest, Chicago has not been a lot of fun for me lately, and I was eager to leave, even if just for a weekend.

Elise and James have a lovely home (as you'd expect, from two architects) and a lovely backyard (as you'd expect, from two LANDSCAPE architects). A mass of Irish Canadians (James' family), coworkers, neighbors, and various friends descended upon it to wish Elise a happy 40th.

Revelry


Mother's Day dinner (and drinks) celebrated on the 54th floor, at Canoe.


I had no idea going into the trip that Toronto had a shoe museum. But guess what, Toronto has a shoe museum.


Anyone who follows me on Facebook (or has met me) knows that I love burgers. And in my quick research of "where to eat" in Toronto, I came across Nota Bene. It's actually a fancy place that I was surprised served a burger, but I'm very glad they did.


Toronto was lovely, the weather was lovely, and of course the company was lovely.

I used my next plane voucher to book a flight to Baton Rouge, so I'll see y'all Father's Day weekend.

Itemized.

I like making lists. I also need them. I blame it on a bad memory, ADHD, and a deep-seated desire to be more organized. Making lists helps me accomplish things. I don't always accomplish everything that's on my lists (sometimes I forget I even have a list!), but I accomplish more than if I didn't have a list in the first place.

LIST TIME!

Read more books.
Take more pictures.
Clean my room.
See some live music.
Leave the city. 
Leave the country.
Leave the continent.
Go to the gym.
Go outside.
Cheer the fuck up. 

See, it's important to put some easy items and some harder items. You don't want to put so many items that it's overwhelming, but don't put so few that you limit your options to pick and choose. Time frame is also important. I could technically do half the things on this list today, but instead I'll give myself the rest of the year.

Just kidding.

Ha. I post about happiness, and then shortly after become very unhappy. I guess life is about ups and downs. You need one to appreciate the other, or something cliche.

So. New project. Happiness is too lofty a goal at the moment, I'll settle for "not depressed". I can keep putting one foot in front of the other, and eventually I'll get there. It's going to hurt, but eventually it'll hurt less.

Quick backtrack: When I wasn't yet this unhappy...I turned 31. So I'm a little bit older, a little bit fatter, a little bit richer, and...that's about it now. In contrast to last year's huge weekend crawfish boil in 85 degree weather, I opted to be a little more low key, since Tuesday was not nearly as exciting a day, and 45 degrees didn't lend itself to anything outdoors. I had a steak-and-martini lunch with two friends, then met up with 3 other friends for a little vino and small plates in the evening. Had a fancy dinner the following weekend. People gifted me with purple things, glittery things, camera things, and monetary things, and I'm thankful for it all. My cousin Ariana also sent me Grandmother's fur coat, which was a delightful surprise. It has her initials embroidered on the inside pocket. She's the woman I take after physically, who also loved purple, and lived til she was 89. If I turn out to be half the woman she was I'll be fine. Still got a long way to go though.

Someone took a picture of a happy birthday moment. Hopefully I'm smiling even bigger next year.

Project.

So it's been a whirlwind of a year. That's a blanket statement that alludes to a lot without really saying anything at all. And I don't plan to take the time to say it all. But I can say something going forward.

For 8 years I recorded the events of my life in a blog (not this one obviously) and I really enjoyed it. I enjoyed being able to look back on what I'd done (my memory is horrendous, so it was often a surprise to be reminded of fun adventures I'd had). I enjoyed sharing my experiences with others, not in a bragging way, but I like to engage and it was a way to engage with a lot of people at once. I enjoyed the connections I made with these people, with their own blogs, who read mine and vice versa. Some of these people are still really good friends, and despite living thousands of miles away and in most cases having never met them, they know a lot about me, in some cases more than my own family, and have been around through thick and thin.

I guess that's my meager explanation of why I enjoy(ed) blogging. And I'd like it to stop being a past tense pastime.

Also: I'm reading The Happiness Project. It was recommended by my best friend, had decent reviews on Amazon, and my Kindle Fire was really itching to be used more anyway. I am relieved that it is not (at least, not obviously) a self-help book. I'm encouraged by the fact that the woman who wrote it, who "did" the happiness project, was not an unhappy woman to begin with. She wasn't pulling herself out of some depression, she was just looking to improve upon an otherwise perfectly healthy and happy life, because there's always room for improvement, and who the hell wouldn't want to be happier? She did all the research and reading so I don't have to, she's just writing about her methods and her success. So enough of that sales pitch. It's an easy read. It's not super preachy. Pick it up if you'd like.

Anyway, I don't plan to embark on any kind of official happiness project. But I can recognize the need for improvement in a few areas, and I certainly wouldn't be disappointed by more happiness. I put up with way too many things that I shouldn't put up with, to avoid confrontation, but also because I have somehow developed an uncanny ability to just deal with things how they are. All too often I find myself getting comfortable with my current situation and just sticking with it. It's always taken significant events (Hurricane Katrina, unemployment) for me to make significant life changes. Highly undesired wake up calls if you will. I don't like highly undesired wake up calls, and I don't see the point in waiting around for another one just to give me the initiative to make a difference in my life. I don't have any remarkable goals, and I'm not necessarily looking for a remarkable difference. But I can always be better.

It's my life, I'm in control of it, and if I want it to be more awesome, I have to get off my ass and make it more awesome.

Hello? *crickets*

Well I'm the lamest excuse for a blogger ever when it comes to this one. Trying to change that though, stay tuned...